Thursday, November 8, 2007

The Shadow Walkers (2006)

Title: The Shadow Walkers
Director: Marvin Steven Grove
Writer: Dave Hodel
Starring: Jason Coviello, Jennifer Summers, Clay Adams, Cortni Mullin, Rebecca Gibel, Joseph McCambridge, Tierza Scaccia, Trygve Lode
Studio: Mostly Films

With the tag line "Pray they only kill you" I had high hopes for this movie. Alas, it falls prey to the worst acting I've ever seen in my life. That's too bad, because the story had real promise. When I read the synopsis I felt excited to see this film.

The Shadow Walkers is a highly suspenseful story of a group of lab technicians and military personnel who awaken in a subterranean laboratory with no memory of who they are. They quickly discover that they are sealed in, with only one way to get out alive. Desperate to escape, they struggle through the darkness where they uncover a hive of genetically mutated creatures that stalk them from the shadows. Bred for combat, these monsters are endowed with razor sharp talons and rows of jagged teeth capable of ripping a man apart. While avoiding danger at every turn, they begin to regain their memories, discovering the origin of the deadly creatures and the part they played in their creation.

You see? Sounds interesting, doesn't it? While the story is intriguing, the only thing scary about this film is the acting. It is hardly even watchable, let alone enjoyable. Shadow Walkers doesn't even fall into the "so bad it's good" category (which I thoroughly enjoy). Stay away from this one at all costs. Only way I would watch this movie again is if I was being subjected to some kind of bizarre torture where I was forced to watch this piece of trash because my eyelids were held open by toothpicks.

Favorite Quote:

None. Only the silence as the film ended made me smile.

RATING: .5/10

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